Thursday, December 2, 2010

Fact: Anal Sex Reduces the Risk of Prostate Cancer

Dear Hot Men Who Have Defiled Their Faces with Moustaches for All of Movember,

I know you thought that growing a moustache was helpful to raise awareness for prostate cancer and I admire all of you for your commitment to a cause (the prostate!) that is near and dear to my heart, even though your upper lip grew increasingly putrid as the month wore on. God-bless your commitment to your prostate, philanthropy and men’s health in general.

But boys I have bad news for you; actually really bad news: your moustache, shockingly, was doing nothing to prevent prostate cancer.

In fact recent research has shown that instead of fingering that itchy ‘stache, perhaps you should uhm… this is where it gets awkward… finger yourself.

Finger where exxactly? Down there.

The truth: you want to prevent prostate cancer? Lads - don’t defile your face, defile yourselves. Stop offering moustache rides to your girlfriend; tell your gay friend and or explorative girlfriend that you are willing to “take your own ride”…

I’m sure you’re wondering where I’m going with all of this so I’d like to draw your attention to a recent study done by the British Journal of Cancer which has concluded that men whose index finger is longer than their ring finger are one-third less likely to develop prostate cancer.

So what does this statistic have to do with homosexuality - the “lifestyle choice” that has been demonized throughout history and declared “unnatural” by homophobes throughout history?

Reading the BJC’s article about finger size jogged my memory about a study that was a done a couple of years ago which argued that men with bigger ring fingers were more likely to be straight, while dudes with a smaller ring finger were more likely to be gay.

So what exactly does this mean? Well… one could (and by one I mean me) extrapolate that a smaller "gay" ring finger means a larger index finger. Therefore dudes with larger index fingers are more likely to be gay AND as the British Journal of Cancer has proven men with larger index fingers are less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer. (If you’re like you had to spend like an hour on the Google figuring out which was my index and which was my ring finger... so see the handy dandy image that I found…)

So to boil this down: larger index finger means gay and no prostate cancer!

So what do gay men do with their prostates that most straight men don’t?

If you answered anal sex oyu'd be right. Gay men are well known for having anal sex (or buggery) which according to wikipedia, can produce a pleasurable sensation due to the inserted penis rubbing or brushing against the prostate.


Could it be that anal sex, and prostate massaging, actually has health benefits unbeknownst to human-kind? Are gay men more likely to not be diagnosed with prostate cancer because they’ve been “massaging” their prostates? Perhaps buggery (the act of anal sex) isn’t actually unnatural, as homophobes would have you believe, but actually poses HEALTH BENEFITS to all men.


You want my “It gets better video”? Gays – because of our buggery we’re not going to get prostate cancer like the straights. Goeth and get diddled.

Can someone exhume people from ancient Greece, cross reference anal virginity with rates of prostate cancer to secure proof? Maybe we now know why the ancient Spartans were f’ing each other left, right and centre. The Spartans were smart - they didn’t want to get prostate cancer! Perhaps American soldiers who have been discharged from the military simply for “telling” about their sexuality can be re-purposed to complete the study, Lt. Dan Choi’s not doing anything – send him to Greece for some primary research.

And that is why for the month of January I will be spearheading my own anti-prostate cancer campaign; I now declare January shall be called: Anal Sexruary. Anal Sexuary is the time when men, both gay and straight, ensure that they are protecting their prostates from cancer by having copious amounts of (safe!) anal sex.

And so… Jake Gylenhaal ask yourself this one question: Who would you rather want helping you prevent prostate cancer, Jono Naymark, prostate professional, or TayTay Swift [although this does bring new credence to the line from her song You Belong With Me: “Standing By and waiting at your backdoor”]?


  1. I enjoyed reading your articles. This is truly a great read for me. I have bookmarked it and I am looking forward to reading new articles.

    Click here

    1. Wow….Sexy Collections.
      Friends, If you have little of time you may check These Links for
      New Funny Sex.
      New Sex Video.
      Actress Licked Sex.

  2. Hilarious. I thought a friend was pulling a prank. next time, I ahem, I'll b thinking about your blog, sighing with relief about how attentive I'm to my well being.

  3. Haha, this is great!!! Will definitely repost this.


  4. I'm glad to read your blog...............
    Largest selection of memorials and printable funeral program templates.

  5. It is a correct idea. Straight men have a lot sex in which they use their penises so they infected through penis and infections reach their prostate. In the other hand gay men do not have sex with their penis so they do not get any prostate infection; instead they use their anal and may get STDs. Also bottom gay men may masturbate which it is preventing prostate cancer too.

  6. Tremendous blogging.....
    Internet Marketing Techniques That Really Work for any business growth

  7. Cool blog site friend I'm about to suggest this to all my listing contacts. In The Blonde Articles

  8. How wonderful working in this site is. Nice to visit this site.
    Friends, If you have little of time You may check The Link for
    Voyeur Sex-Hidden Sex.
    Short XXX Clips.
    Tamil Actress Sex.

  9. Hi, i would like to have lesbian sex, if anyone interested please contact me @

  10. This is idiotic. I'm gay, I am 95% bottom, I have prostate cancer, and my fingers are "straight."

  11. Online Stores Selling Obat Perangsang Wanita for female sexual arousal secured potent.

  12. Nice... You’ll experience a more comfortable ride from excited startup to impressive finish, and the clear cylinder lets you watch the progress as you grow and

  13. .....

    »......- xtubemarkets Teen Videos - free Sex videos ..(2020)
    >>......xTube, Young XXX Movies, Teenage

    »......- xnxx: Free Porn, Sex, free porn sex videos...(365)
    >>..... gay Videos, XXX Pics, adult

    »......- Gay sex, Asian sex Video Songs - Hot gay sex.. (24)
    >>...... Android Apps on Google Play

    »......- Desi Sex Video's , teen schoolgirl homemade sex video free

    »......- HOT SEXY GIRL HAVING SEX - sexy sunny leone free porn videos
    >>......3gp mp4 XXX Videos Movies

    »......- fock videos sex Girl Zainab - HD pro hot sex
    >>...... Ali Leaked Sex Video www.asian

    »......- school Girls 15-year Sex Videos - xnxx xx sex
    >>..... Teen & Milf Wife Cum Shots

    »......- Free HD video sex boobs Movies
    >>....... hot japani sex, sexy asian girls

    »......- School Girl Sex videos, sex vidoes
    >>......Teacher Bathroom MMS-Indian Girls

    ».....- Sunny Leone Hot Videos, x video download sex free
    >>...... homemade sex scandal - XVIDEOS ...

    »......- Hot sex videos , ashian sex ,
    >>......Sex Videos Free Downloads :: Full

    ».....- dashi garl Hot Videos, xxx sex
    >>...... Sunny Leone Sex Videos ,Sunny

    ».....- Free sex vedio gay sex - Gay sex
    >>...... boob sex Videos - YouPorn

    ».....- Hot HD sex Leone downlod - fuck sex
    >>...... fuck sex Videos -

    ».....- Sexy Sunny Leone - Free xnxxx sex videos
    >>...... Porn Videos - YouPorn

    ».....- Fuck sex videos downlod - Gay sex
    >>......- xtube sex downlod Videos - YouPorn

    ».....- arab sex - Hot HD videos - fuck sex
    >>......- oral sex free Videos -

    ».....- oral sex - passion HD videos - Free
    ,......>>- Porn Videos - YouPorn boobs sex

    »......- Hot HD gay sex - Gay sex
    ......>>- Free sex video downlod - sex vedio (250)

    ».....- xnxx sex videos - fuck sex
    >>.....- xtubemerkets free Videos - porno free videos downlod

    »....- xtubemerkets- Free sex videos sex
    >>.....- school girl 16-year sex videos

    ».....- Old sex video =....................................... .(24)
    >>......- xtube sex downlod Videos =................(565)

    ».....- World New collection =.............................. (365)
    >>......- oral sex free Videos - xtubemarkets=.......(990)

    ».....- xtubemarkets. passion HD videos =........ (2050)
    >>,......- Porn Videos - YouPorn boobs=............(420)


  14. If you need your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (even if they're dating somebody else now) you got to watch this video
    right away...

    (VIDEO) Win your ex back with TEXT messages?